The Russian Flirt
by NutterButter123
Summary: Basically the film with an added Character. I'm Rubbish at summaries. Bender/OC
1. Brownie Hound

**Saturday...March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois. 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon...we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong, what we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are, what do you care? You see us as you want to see us...in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athelete, a basket case, a princess, a Russian Flirt and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock this morning. We were brainwashed...**

* * *

*Anastasia POV*

I woke to my father banging on my bedroom door loudly yelling at me to wake up. I rolled over and looked at the clock, it was half past five. I groaned loudly, I hated Saturday detention. I got up and padded towards my bathroom to take a shower. I undressed and stepped into the shower taking my time to shave everywhere and washing my hair and body before stepping out and wrapping a towel around my body and hair. As I walked through to my room and I started to briefly towel dry my hair and look for a outfit to wear. I put on my panties and bra before sitting at my beauty table and started to blow dry my hair. Once I blow dried it and straightened it I started on my make up before dressing in the outfit I picket out. I put on the white tank top over my navy blue bra and my short leather skirt and my dark green plaid button down shirt over my tank top and buttoned it up to just under my chest. I tucked it into my skirt and pulled on my Black lace-up peep toe heeled shoe boots. I looked at the clock again, six forty. I grabbed my bag and my jacket before racing down the stairs into the kitchen and grabbed the lunch I made the day before. I got into my car and drove as fast as I could to the school.

* * *

I pulled into the car park just as I caught Allison getting out of her car and John Bender walked up the steps. I parked my car and got out, I made my way towards Allison who was walking quickly up the steps

"Ally!" I called and hurried towards her. She turned and smiled slightly

"Hi" she said before we both made our way into the school towards the library. When Allison and I entered the room everyone else was already there. Claire Standish(Prom Queen) sat at a desk with Andrew Clark(A Jock) and Brian Johnson(My only other friend besides Allison) and John Bender, the guy I fool around with sometimes was sitting with his feet on a chair in front of him. Allison quickly moved away from me and scurried to the back of the library around the statue and sat at a desk in the back. I glared at the two popular students who snickered at Allison

"Shut the fuck up" I snapped making them look at me in shock as I stormed passed their desk to the one in front of Brian. Brian smiled at me which I returned before I went to turn around and my eye caught Bender's. He winked at me making me smirk and 'fix' my collar, drawing his eyes towards my chest which showed the tops of my breasts. Bender licked his lips and smirked as Mr Vernon, our lovely Principal entered. He held a stack of paper and pencils in his left hand

"Well...well. Here we are! I want to congratulate you for being on time" he smirked at us I rolled my eyes as 'Princess Claire' raised her hand"Excuse me, sir? I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here..." she said snobbishly Vernon contiuded to talk as if she never spoke

"It is now seven-oh-six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways..." Bender spat into the air and caught the spit in his mouth again, Claire looked like she was going to gag. "...and you may not talk." he glanced at Claire "You will not move from these seats." Brain who was nomving stopped and slowly sat back down in his seat "and you..." Vernon pointed at bender and took away the chair his feet where on "will not sleep. Alright people, we're gonna try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay-of no less than a thousand words-describing to me who you think you are."

"Is this a test?" John asked Vernon passed out paper and pencils and took no notice of Bender. "And when I say essay...I mean essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear Mr. Bender? Ms. Volkov" We looked up."Crystal" John smiled sarcastically while I just rolled my eeys and nodded

"Good. Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself. Maybe you'll even-decide whether or not you care to return."

"You know," Brian raised his hand and stood up making my groan "I can answer that right now sir...That'd be "No", no for me. 'cause..."

"Sit down Johnson" Vernon snapped

"Thank you sir" He sat quickly.

"My office..." Vernon pointed. "is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised..." Vernon looked at us all "any questions?"

"Yeah...I got a question." John said making me smirk as Vernon looked at him with suspicion "Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?" he asked cheekily making me giggle loudly

"I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. And you, Ms Volkov can join him for laughing. Don't mess with the bull, you'll get the horns." Vernon snarked before leaving

"That man...is a brownie hound" John stated once he was sure Vernon was out the room


	2. Hot Beef Injection

We all began to shift and try to get comfortable when we heard a loud click. We turned to face Allison who was biting her nails, I shook my head at my friend

"You keep eating your hand and you're not gonna be hungry for lunch" John told her

Allison glared at him before spitting part of her nail at him.

"I've seen you before, you know" John pointed at her smirking

He turned to me before patting the table he was sat at. I rolled my eyes and huffed before standing and making my way the the desk and sitting on it with my feet in his lap. John stood and pushed my legs open so he could stand between them. He leaned in as I leaned up, but we stopped when we heard Brian talking to himself

"Who do I think I am? Who are you? Who are you?" Brian attached his pen to his bottom lip and put the lid on his upper lip "I am a walrus"

John and I turned and looked at him in utter confusion. Brian noticed this, laughed, he took the pen out of his mouth embarrassed. John and Brian started to take their jackets off at the same time. I giggled when they both stopped and looked at each other, realising they were taking off their jacket at the same time. Brian stopped removing his jacket as John took his all the way off. I shook my head at Brian who rubbed his hands together and pretended to be cold. He pulls his jacket back on. He turns and looks at Bender who is still staring at him.

"It's the shits, huh?" Brian smiled nervously

John glared at him and making Brian utter an uncomfortable laugh. John turned back to me and winked before crumpling up his essay paper and throwing it at Claire. Unfortunately it missed and went over Claire's head. Andrew and Claire acknowledged it but continued to ignore John and I. John started to sing loudly

"Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah...nah, nah, nah..."

"I can't believe this is really happening to me." Claire muttered. Making me scoff.

"Poor Princess" I mocked making her glare at me

John suddenly stopped "singing"

"Oh, shit!" he slammed his hands on desk either side of my thighs "What're we s'posed to do if we hafta take a piss?" he asked causing me to grin

"Please" Claire scoffed disgusted

"If you gotta go" John sat down in the chair next to me and unzipped his fly

"You gotta go!"

Everyone was now looking at John.

"Oh my God!" Claire exclaimed disgusted

"Hey, your not urinating in here man!" Andrew said loudly

"Don't talk! Don't talk! It makes it crawl back up!" John said

"You whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor!" Andrew turned back around

John gaped mockingly causing me to giggle and swing my legs

"You're pretty sexy when you get angry. Of course no one is sexier than Ana" he said rubbing my thighs. I watched as he turned to Brian "Hey, homeboy" Brian pointed to himself with his pen "why don't you go close that door. We'll get the prom queen and the Russian Princess- impregnated!"

Claire tuned and glared fiercely at him while I pulled him into a kiss.

"I'm not one for getting knocked up, but we could always practice" I smirked and John pulled me onto his lap as we started to make out.

* * *

It was just getting steamy when Andrew spoke up again

"Hey!" he called.

John and I ignored him letting our hands wander

"Hey!" Andrew shouted for the last time

John pulled away from me, my red lipstick smudged on his lips "What?" he snapped

"If I lose my temper, you're totalled man!" Andrew threatened

"Totally?" John mocked

"Totally!"

"Why don't you both just shut up! Nobody here is interested!" Claire told us.

"Заткнись , сука ! прежде чем я разбить , что красивое лицо твoe" I snarled making everyone but John look at me confused. John grinned at me before giving me a kiss

"Успокойтесь , Красный" he whispered in my ear. I smiled, I'm so glad I've been teaching him Russian for over a year. He's really good at it, nearly fluent.

"Really!" Andy turned around "Buttface!"

"Well hey Sporto! What'd you do to get in here?" John asked

"Forget to wash your jock?" I smirked

"Uh, excuse me, fellas? I think we should just write our papers" Brian tried to calm everyone down. He's cute like that.

"Look, just because you two live in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass...so knock it off!" Andy complained

"It's a free country" John shrugged

"He's just doing it to get a rise out of you! Just ignore them" Claire told Andrew who nodded and turned away again

"Sweets...you couldn't ignore me if you tried!" John said to Claire who rolled her eyes "So...so!" he looked at the two preps in front on us "Are you guys like boyfriend/girl- friend? Steady dates?" Johna sked smirking seeing them getting more and more angry

"Lo—vers?" I grinned

"Come on Sporto, level with us. Do you slip her the hot...beef... injection?" John smirked as Claire and Andrew turned to face us furious.

"Go to hell!" Claire screamed while Andrew shouted

"Enough!"

"Hey! What's going on in there?" We heard Vernon yell

We all looked at each other and Andrew turned away from Bender. "Scumbag!" he muttered

* * *

 ***Заткнись , сука ! прежде чем я разбить , что красивое лицо твoe-Shut up, bitch! before I smash that beautiful face of yours***

 ***Успокойтесь , Красный- Calm Down, Red***


	3. Labotamy and Tights

John stood up and walked over to the railing and sat on it.

"What do you say we close that door." he said "We can't have any kind of party with Vernon checking us out every few seconds."

"Well, you know the door's s'posed to stay open" Brain said

"So what?" John scoffed

"Come on, Brian, live a little" I smiled

"So why don't you two just shut up!" Andrew snapped making me jump "There's four other people in here you know"

"God, you can count. See! I knew you had to be smart to be a...a wrestler." John taunted

"Who the hell are you to judge anybody anyway?" the Jock narrowed his eyes

"Really" Claire scoffed. I rolled my eyes before going over to my bag and raking though it. I grinned as I felt my hip-flask, I pulled it out and walked back over to John while sipping it. I glared at the Princess as she stared at me for drinking.

"You know, Bender...you don't even count." Andrew began "I mean if you disappeared forever it wouldn't make any difference. You may as well not even exist at this school." I shook with rage when I saw the hurt in John's eyes

"Who are you to say that?" I snarled

"The same goes for you!" Andrew burst at me "People only really know you for being a whore. Bender's whore that is!" I looked down sadly. He was right, people hardly know me as anything but 'the girl who John Bender fucks'

John looked at me and noticed I became withdrawn. He ignored the voice inside his head that told him to rip the Jock's spine out and changed the conversion while putting an arm around me and brining me close

"Well...I'll just run right out and join the wrestling team." he said as Claire and Andrew laugh "Maybe the prep club too!" he said to Claire who stopped laughing "Student council"

"No, they wouldn't take you." Andy said

"I'm hurt." John looked down in mock sadness

"You know why guys like you knock everything"

"Oh, this should be stunning" he whispered to me making me giggle quietly

"It's 'cause you're afraid." The Princess stated

"Oh, God!" John exclaimed with mock enthusiasm "You ritchies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy in activities!"

"You're a big coward!"

"I'm in the math club." Brian said so he was not left out

"See you're afraid that they won't take you. You don't belong so you just have to dump all over it" Claire continued making me groan and drink more out of my hip flask. Would she ever shut up?

"Well...it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes...now would it?" John smirked as I kissed his neck

"Well you wouldn't know...You don't even know any of us." Claire said snidely

"Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fucking clubs." John told her as if she was stupid

"Hey let's watch the mouth, huh?" Andrew said

"I'm in the physics club too." Brian piped up again causing me to smile

"S'cuse me a sec" John said to Claire before looking at Brian "What are you babbling about?"

"Well, what I said was." Brain began nervously "I'm in the math club, the Latin club and the physics club...physics club."

John nodded before turning back to Claire

"Hey...Cherry...do you belong to the physics club?" he asked

"That's an academic club" she said

"So?" I asked

"So...academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs."

"Oh, but to dorks like him" John pointed at Brian making me slap his arm lightly. Brian was one f best friends. "they are. What do you guys do in your club?" he asked Brian as I kissed his cheek before making my way over to Alison and gave her my hip flask to take a sip from

"In physics, um, we ah, we talk about physics...about properties of physics." Brain said

"So it's sorta social... _demented_ and _sad_ , but social. Right?"

"Yeah, well, I guess you could consider it a social situation. I mean there are other children in my club and uh, at the end of the year we have, um, you know, a big banquet, at the, uh, at the Hilton."

"You load up, you party"

"Well, no, we get dressed up...I mean, but, we don't...we don't get high.

"Only burners like you get high" Claire commented

"And, uh, I didn't have any shoes. So I had to borrow my dad's. It was kinda weird 'cause my mom doesn't like me to wear other people's shoes. And, uh, my cousin Kent...my cousin Kendall from, uh, Indiana... He got high once and you know, he started eating like really weird foods. And uh, and then he just felt like he didn't belong anywhere. You know, kinda like, you know "Twilight Zone" kinda." I laughed as Brian rattled on

"Sounds like you" Claire laughed at John

"Look, you guys keep up your talking and Vernon's gonna come right in here...I got a meet this Saturday and I'm not gonna miss it on account of you boneheads." Andrew complained

"Oh and wouldn't that be a bite" John let out a moan of fake agony. "Missing a whole wrestling meet!"

"Well you wouldn't know anything about it, faggot! You never competed in your whole life!"

"Oh, I know." John whined "I feel all empty inside because of it. I have such a deep admiration for guys that roll around on the floor with other guys!" I giggled with Alison as we drank the vodka

"Ahhh...you'd never miss it. You don't have any goals." Andrew said

"Oh, but I do!"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna be just—like-you!" John pointed at Andrew "I figure all I needs a labotamy and some tights!"

"You wear tights?" Brained asked smirking

"No I don't wear tights, I wear the required uniform" Andrew told him "Tights" I said loudly nodding

"Shut up!" Andrew shouted defensively.


	4. Screwing Around

I glared at Andrew and I was about to tell him to 'suck it', when we heard Vernon moving around in the hall. John quickly jumped into the chair between the preps and folded his hands on the desk trying to pull off an 'innocent' look, while I sat the seat next to Allison and hip my Hip flask.

Vernon went back into his office so I sat back on the table and John laughed and stood up before starting over to the library entrance

"You know there's not s'posed to be any monkey business!" Brain called John turned and pointed at Brian

"Young man...have you finished your paper?" he imitated Vernon making me giggle. John turned back around and walked up to the open door. He looked around cautiously before starting to fiddle with the door hinge.

"What are you gonna do?" Claire asked

"Drop dead, I hope!" Andrew snarked

"Bender, that's, that's school property there...you know, it doesn't belong to us. It's something not to be toyed with." Brain said as the door slammed shut.

John ran over to me, I smirked as he reached down my top and into my bra, brushing my nipple as he place the screws inside before kissing me and sitting in his seat

"That's very funny, come on, fix it!" Andrew shouted

"You should really fix that!" Brain told John

"Am I a genius?" John asked

"No, you're an asshole!" Andrew yelled

"What a funny guy!" John mocked

"Fix the door Bender!"

"Shut up, Jockstrap!" I yelled

"Everyone just shhh! I've been here before, I know what I'm doing!" John shouted

"No! Fix the door, get up there and fix it!" Andrew screamed

"Shut up!" John screamed back. I heard footsteps and rushed into my chair in front of Brain

We quietened just as Vernon stormed in the room.

"Why is that door closed?" Vernon raged at us

No one said anything, we all just sat staring at him.

"Why is that door closed?" he repeated

"How're we s'posed to know? We're not s'posed to move, right?" John asked sarcastically

Vernon turned to Claire

"Why?"

"We were just sitting here, like we were s'posed to." Claire lied causing my eyes to widened

Vernon looked around and looked at me. He walked over to my desk, placed his hand on it and leaned over me making me uncomfortable. I flinched slightly when I caught him sneaking a peek down my top. I cast my eyes at John for a moment. He sat rigidly and stared angrily at Vernon. He had obviously saw what I saw

"Who closed that door?" he asked me smirking. He must of noticed my flinch "I think a screw fell out of it" John said loudly drawing him away from me.

Andrew caught on to what John was doing. He may not have liked her, but not even he could sit by and watch as she was eyed up by their Principal.

"It just closed, sir." he said

Vernon looked at Allison in the back

"Who?" he demanded

Allison let out a squeak and slammed her face onto the table, hiding in her jacket hood.

"She doesn't talk, sir." I said

"Give me that screw" Vernon snarled at John

"I don't have it" he said

"You want me to yank you outta that seat and shake it out of you?" Vernon threatened

"That's abuse sir!" I yelled

"Shut up, Volkov! That's two more Saturdays!" Vernon yelled at me "Maybe I should call your father? Let him know for your attitude" he smirked as I paled and shrunk into my seat causing many confused glances sent my way

"I don't have it...screws fall out all of the time, the world's an imperfect place." John said once again drawing the attention away from me

"Give it to me, Bender."

"Excuse me, sir, why would anybody want to steal a screw?" Claire spoke up "Watch it, young lady" Vernon pointed at her before going over to the door and placing a folding chair in front of it to hold it open

"The door's way too heavy, sir." John said

The door slammed shut despite the chair.

"God damnit!" Vernon yelled though the door making us all laugh

Vernon opened the door again and walked back in

"Andrew Clark." he said loudly causing Andrew to jump "get up here. Come on, front and center, let's go." he clicked his fingers

Andrew got up and walked over to Vernon.

"Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up?" John asked "If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!" I laughed loudly at his statement

Vernon and Andrew were now attempting to move the steel magazine rack in front of the door.

"Okay, now, watch the magazines!" Vernon shouted at Andrew who jumped forward to stop the magazines from falling

"It's out of my hands." John

They got it into the doorway, but it blocked the entire door.

"That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire?" John shouted

"I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir." I added causing John to send a wink my way.

Vernon thought for a minute before turning to Andrew.

"Alright, what are you doing with this?" he asked making me scoff "Get this outta here for God's sake! What's the matter with you? Come on!"

Brain leaned over slightly to John and said "You know the school comes equipped with fire exits at either end of the library." he pointed at them and John glared at him.

"Show Dick some respect!" he said

Andrew and Vernon came back into the main section of the library

"Let's go...go!" Vernon said to Andrew "Get back into your seat." Andrew sat down in his seat "I expected a little more from a varsity letterman!" he looked at John "You're not fooling anybody, Bender! The next screw that falls out is gonna be you!" Vernon turned to leave

"Eat my shorts" John mumbled, but it was loud enough for Vernon to hear him

Vernon spun in his tracks and faced John again.

"What was that?" he asked

"Eat my shorts!" John stated loudly

"You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister!"

"Oh, Christ..."

"You just bought one more right there!"

"Well, I'm free the Saturday after that...beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar!" John said cheekily

"Good! 'Cause it's gonna be filled, we'll keep goin'! You want another one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here! Are you through?" I fumed at Vernon's comment about prison but I kept my mouth shut

"No!"

"I'm doing society a favour!"

"So?"

"That's another one, right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?"

John though for a moment before replying "Yes!"

"You got it! You got another one, right there! That's another one pal!"

"Cut it out!" Claire's high pitched voice called out. John looked at her for a moment and she mouth 'stop'

"You through?" Vernon asked

"Not even close, bud!" John grit his teeth

"Good! You got one more, right there!" Vernon was starting to enjoy this

"Do you really think I give a shit?" John asked

"Another."

John glared at him.

"You through?"

"How many is that?" John asked Brian

"That's seven including the one when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet." Brain answered

"Now it's eight." Vernon turned to Brian "You stay out of it!"

"Excuse me, sir, it's seven!"

"Shut up, Peewee!"

"Don't talk to him like that" I shouted (to Bender) You're mine Bender...for

"Two more Saturday's" Vernon yelled at me before tuning back to John "two months I gotcha! I gotcha!"

"What can I say? I'm thrilled!" John shrugged

"Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe. You know something, Bender? You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself and a little less time trying to impress people. You might be better off." John glared angrily at Vernon as he spoke to everyone

"Alright, that's it! I'm going to be right outside those doors. The next time I hafta come in here...I'm cracking skulls!" I held in a laugh as John mouthed the last three words mockingly. Vernon left and the door swung shut behind him.

"Fuck you!" John screamed after him.


	5. Are you a Virgin?

I looked at the clock, it read 7:45. I groaned and lay down on the desk I was sitting on as John lit a match before lighting his shoe setting part of the side on fire, he took out a cigarette and lit it with the fire. I smiled and took my packet out my bag and lit mine before kissing him passionately. I looked around the room taking in what everyone was doing. Claire was daydreaming with her head on her hand, Brian and playing with is balls making me smirk as I took a drag and blew it out. I looked over at Andrew who was playing with the strings of his hooded top and Allison was wrapping a piece of string around her finger making it purple. I smiled when John slapped his boot making the fire go out before he started playing the air guitar. I finished off my cigarette before laying down on the table and smiling when John got up beside me and spooned me from behind. I slowly drifted off to sleep with John's arm around me.

"Wake up!" I heard Vernon snap "Who has to go to the lavatory?" I put my hand up as did everyone else Everyone raises their hands.

I sat on my desk drinking from my hip-flask as John tore pages out of a book and tossed them about.

"That's real intelligent." Andrew said sarcastically

"You're right...it's wrong to destroy literature." John nodded mockingly as he continued to tear pages out. "It's such fun to read...and, Molet really pumps my nads!"

"Mol-yare." Claire corrected, I narrowed my eyes as she smiled flirtatiously at him. My hand clenched around the flask as I took a large gulp

"I love his work." Brain smiled, he ducked quickly as John tossed the rest of the pages at him.

"Big deal...nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy.. " John said wrapping an arm around me

"Speak for yourself" The Jock scoffed

"Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language!" John glared. As Andrew turned to Claire, I put my hand on John's cheek turning his face to me.

"Calm down" I whispered and kissed his lips softly. We could hear Andy and Claire talking as we made out.

"Hey, you grounded tonight?" Andy asked

"I don't know, my mom said I was but by dad told me to just blow her off." Claire shrugged

"Big party at Stubbies, parents are in Europe. Should be pretty wild." I rolled my eyes. I was going to go to that party, but John and I were having a wild night of our own.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, can you go?"

"I doubt it..." Claire pouted

"How come?" Andy frowned

"Well 'cause if I do what my mother tells me not to do, it's because because my father says it's okay. There's like this whole big monster deal, it's endless and it's a total drag. It's like any minute... divorce." Claire rambled about her poor life. Fucking bitch.

"Who do you like better?" John asked suddenly

"What?" Claire turned to him

"You like your old man better than your mom?" I asked

"They're both strict."

"No, she means, if you had to choose between them." John told her

"I dunno, I'd probably go live with my brother. I mean, I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me...it's like they use me just to get back at each other." we were all silent while I tried not to laugh at the face John was making

"Ha!" we turned to Allison shocked while Allison blew her hair out of her face before sitting back smugly.

"Shut up!" Claire whined

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." Andy scoffed

"Yeah, well if I didn't nobody else would."

"Aw...you're breaking my heart." Andy cooed sarcastically

"Sporto." John called

"What?" Andy asked as John jumped off the railing we were sitting on and walked over to him

"You get along with your parents?"

"Well if I say yes, I'm an idiot, right?" Andy smirked

"You're an idiot anyway...But if you say you get along with your parents well you're a liar too!" John turned and walked away from him.

Andy followed and pushed him. "You know something, man...If we weren't in school right now, I'd waste you!" John pointed his middle finger at the floor. "Can you hear this?" he asked "Want me to turn it up?" he flipped his hand around so he was giving Andy the bird. Brian stood nervously sensing a fight, he walked over to the boys and placed a hand on their shoulders

"Hey fellas, I mean..." Andy pushed Brian's hand off "I don't like my parents either, I don't...I don't get along with them...their idea of parental compassion is just, you know, wacko!" he rambled as John turned to him annoyed

"Dork..." John started

"Yeah?"

"You are a parent's wet dream, okay?" John started to walk away to where I was sitting

"Well that's a problem!" Brian complained causing John to turn back around

"Look, I can see you getting all bunged up for them making you wear these kinda clothes. But face it, you're a Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie! What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?" John insulted

"Why do you have to insult everybody?" Andy spat

"He hasn't insulted me" I smiled

"That's because your spreading legs for him, Slut!" Andy spat, I held in a flinch, but John saw the hurt in my eyes and glared heatedly at the Jock

"Don't fucking call her a slut!" he growled "And I'm being honest, asshole! I would expect you...to know the difference!"

"Yeah well, he's gotta name!"Andy said in Brian's defence

"Yeah?" I scoffed glaring, there was no way Jock-strap knew Brian's name

"Yeah," he nodded to Brian "What's your name?"

"Brian." said boy said nervously

"See..." Andy smirked at John who looked at the Nerd sadly

"My condolences." he walked away

"What's your name?" Claire piped up almost flirtatiously causing me to shoot her a look. John and I may not be exclusive, but that didn't mean we didn't love each other in some way.

"What's yours?" he countered

"Claire..."

"Ka-Laire?" John said her name funnily making me laugh

"Claire...it's a family name!" she stated proudly

John shook his head "Nooo...It's a fat girl's name!"

"Well thank you..." Claire glared insulted

"You're welcome." John smirked

"I'm not fat!" she huffed

"Well not at present but I could see you really pushing maximum density! You see, I'm not sure if you know this...but there are two kinds of fat people. There's fat people that were born to be fat, and then there's fat people that were once thin but they became fat...so when you look at them you can sorta see that thin person inside! You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh..." John mimed becoming fat, making noises, causing Claire to give him the finger

John made a sound of surprise "Oh...obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl!" he mocked

"I'm not that pristine!" Claire glared

I swallowed my jealously as John bent down closer to Claire.

"Are you a virgin?" he smirked as Claire looked away obliviously unconformable with the topic. "I'll bet you a million dollars that you are! Let's end the suspense! Is it gonna be...a white weddin?" John asked

"John" I said quietly, sure I didn't like the girl, but a girls virginity is a private thing. It wasn't something to throw about or poke your nose into.

"Why don't you just shut up?" the princess hissed blushing

John ignored both of us and looked back at Claire, enjoying making her feel insecure "Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth? Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to God your parents don't walk in?" I started to get pissed off on Claire's behave when I saw some tears building in her eyes

"Lay off, John" I spoke

"Do you want me to puke?" Claire asked, her breath catching

John once again ignored me "Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?"

"Leave her alone!" Andy snarled in Claire's defence causing John to stand straight and face him. "I said leave her alone!"

"You gonna make me?" John scoffed

"Yeah.." Andy nodded as John walked over to him. I stood and took my drink with me as I sat on another desk

"You and how many of your friends?" John asked

"Just me, just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor!" Andy spoke "Any time you're ready, pal!"

John went to tap Andy on his cheek, but Andy grabbed John in a wrestling move that took them both to the floor

"I don't wanna get into to this with you man." John said angrily before Andy let him up

"Why not?" Andy asked

"'Cause I'd kill you...It's real simple." John shrugged "I'd kill you and your fucking parents would sue me and it would be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother."

Andy scoffed "Chicken shit." he turned and walked away when John pulled out his switch blade and flicked it open. Andy turned back around and tried to hide the growing fear in his eyes. John stabbed the knife into the chair beside Allison who took it out and place it in her bag

"Let's end this right now." Andy straightened up "You don't talk to her...you don't look at her and you don't even think about her! You understand me?"

"I'm trying to help her!" John gestured to Claire as the library doors opened and Carl the janitor came in with his trolley and went into a room to empty a bin before he came back out

"Brian, how you doing?" he asked smiling at Brian, who hid in his arms

"Your dad works here?" John asked sarcastically as Brian flushed.

"Uh, Carl?" John spoke up making me groan

"You can never just be quiet can you?" I asked him causing him to kiss my lips

"What?" Carl asked, waiting for an insult

"Can I ask you a question?" John asked

"Sure." Carl smirked with his hands on his hips

"How does one become a janitor?"

"You wanna be a janitor?" Carl scoffed

"No I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here, is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts." I giggled into John's shoulder

"Oh, really?" Carl grinned amused "You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Peon? Huh? Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past eight years I've learned a couple of things...I look through your letters, I look through your lockers." John and I looked up worried "I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do...I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends." Carl smirked before grabbing his trolley and starting to leave the room. He stopped and looked at his watch before looking at the big clock in the back "By the way, that clock's twenty minutes fast!" he left leaving the us groaning as John smiled

"Shit!" Andy cursed as John pulled me to him chest and kissed my head.


End file.
